The email arrived on a Tuesday afternoon. You read it once, then twice, trying to process words you never thought you’d see directed at you. Or maybe you’re the one who’s been drafting that message in your head for months, unable to hit send. Either way, your marriage is ending—not with the screaming matches you see on TV, but with a quiet, unmistakable certainty that’s been growing for longer than you want to admit.
Now you’re left with questions you never wanted to ask: How does divorce actually work in New York? What reasons will the court accept? Where do you even start?
You’re not alone in asking these questions. Thousands of New Yorkers file for divorce every year, and they all begin exactly where you are right now—trying to make sense of the legal process while dealing with everything else that comes with the end of a marriage.
Understanding New York’s Divorce Grounds
New York law recognizes seven legal grounds for divorce—essentially, seven legally acceptable reasons you can give the court to end your marriage. You’ll find these grounds spelled out in New York Domestic Relations Law § 170.
Here’s something that surprises most people: Until 2010, New York was the very last state in the country to allow no-fault divorce. Before that, you had to either prove your spouse did something wrong or live apart under a formal separation agreement for at least a year. The 2010 law change finally brought New York into line with every other state by adding a seventh ground—the one most people use today.
Your options now include no-fault divorce based on an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, or fault-based grounds like cruel treatment, abandonment, imprisonment, adultery, or legal separation. Each has different requirements and implications for your case.
One technical note before we go further: Despite what the name suggests, the New York State Supreme Court is actually where you file for divorce. It’s the trial-level court that handles all matrimonial cases. Family Court can’t grant divorces, though it does handle related matters like child support and custody orders.
The No-Fault Option: Irretrievable Breakdown
Most people filing for divorce in New York today use the no-fault ground, and for good reason—it’s typically the most straightforward path.
Under DRL § 170(7), you can get a divorce by stating under oath that your marriage has been irretrievably broken for at least six months. That’s the entire requirement. You don’t have to prove your spouse cheated, abandoned you, or did anything else wrong. You don’t need to convince anyone that you tried hard enough to save things. You simply swear that the marriage has been fundamentally broken for half a year.
And before you ask: No, you don’t have to be physically separated during those six months. You don’t need separate apartments or a formal separation agreement. The six-month period refers to how long the relationship has been broken, not how long you’ve lived apart. Many couples continue sharing a home out of financial necessity or for the children’s sake while their marriage is effectively over. The law understands this reality.
If you’re at the point of researching divorce grounds, those six months have probably already passed.
There is one significant requirement, though. The court won’t finalize a no-fault divorce until you’ve resolved—or had a judge decide—all the major issues in your case:
- How you’ll divide your property and debts
- Whether either spouse will receive maintenance (what used to be called alimony)
- Child custody and parenting time
- Child support
- Who pays attorney fees
This isn’t the court being difficult. It’s a protection for both spouses so nobody gets divorced with important financial and family issues still hanging in the balance.
Meeting New York’s Residency Requirements
Before any court can grant your divorce, you or your spouse must satisfy one of New York’s residency requirements. These rules determine whether New York has jurisdiction over your case.
You have several options:
The simplest route: Either you or your spouse has lived in New York continuously for at least two years before filing. This works regardless of where you got married or where the grounds for divorce occurred.
The one-year route: Either you or your spouse has lived in New York continuously for at least one year, AND one of these is true:
- You got married in New York
- You lived together as a married couple in New York
- The grounds for your divorce happened in New York
The “both residents” route: You and your spouse are both New York residents when you file, AND the grounds for divorce occurred in New York. This path has no specific time requirement.
“Continuous” residence doesn’t mean you can never leave the state. You can vacation elsewhere, travel for work, visit family out of state—that’s all fine. You just need to maintain New York as your primary home.
Choosing Your Ground: Practical Considerations
If you qualify for no-fault divorce, it is usually the faster, cheaper, and less contentious option. You do not need to gather evidence of wrongdoing or convince a judge that your spouse behaved badly. The process is more straightforward, with less opportunity for your spouse to challenge whether the divorce can proceed.
What Comes After Establishing Grounds
Getting the court to accept your grounds for divorce is just step one. The real work—and often the real conflict—involves resolving everything that comes with ending a marriage.
- Dividing Your Property: New York follows equitable distribution, meaning the court divides marital property fairly, though not necessarily equally. Marital property includes most assets and debts acquired during the marriage, such as your home, retirement accounts, bank accounts, vehicles, and business interests.
- Spousal Maintenance:One spouse may need to provide financial support to the other, either temporarily during the divorce or on a post-divorce basis. Judges consider factors like marriage length, income, earning potential, health, and whether one spouse gave up career opportunities for the family.
- Child Custody and Parenting Time: If you have children under 18, you will need to work out physical custody and legal custody arrangements. New York courts base all custody decisions on the best interests of the children.
- Child Support: The non-custodial parent typically pays child support based on a formula that considers both parents’ incomes and the number of children. Support generally continues until a child turns 21, with some exceptions for emancipation or special circumstances.
- Impact of Divorce Grounds: The grounds you use for divorce usually have little impact on how property and support issues are resolved. New York focuses on fairness and the best interests of any children involved, rather than punishing the at-fault spouse.
Your Questions Answered
How long will my divorce take?
It depends entirely on whether you and your spouse can agree. An uncontested no-fault divorce—where you agree on all the terms—might take three to six months from filing to final judgment. Contested divorces, where you disagree about property, custody, or other major issues, will take a year or longer. If your case goes to trial, you may not be divorced for several years
What if my spouse refuses to agree to the divorce?
Your spouse can’t stop you from getting divorced in New York. With the no-fault ground, you don’t need their agreement that the marriage is over. However, they can contest the financial and custody issues, which will make the process longer and more expensive. But the divorce itself will eventually be granted.
Does filing first give me an advantage?
Usually not. The person who files first (the plaintiff) technically presents their case first if you end up at trial, but this rarely matters in practice. Both sides get equal opportunity to present evidence and make their arguments. There can be strategic reasons to file first in specific circumstances, which is why talking to an attorney early can be valuable.
Will we have to go to court?
Maybe not. If your divorce is uncontested, you won’t need to go to court. Contested divorces typically require multiple court dates. The more you can resolve through negotiation or mediation, the less time you’ll spend in court.
I can’t afford a lawyer. What are my options?
If your spouse earns significantly more than you, you can ask the court to order them to pay part or all of your attorney fees. Some legal aid organizations also offer reduced-fee services if you meet their income requirements. Divorce involves complicated legal and financial issues, so having representation helps protect your interests whenever possible.
Does New York require counseling before divorce?
No. New York doesn’t require you to try marriage counseling or attempt reconciliation before filing for divorce. Some couples find counseling helpful, but it’s not a legal requirement.
Moving Forward with Donato Law
Deciding to divorce is rarely easy. You’re probably dealing with grief, anger, fear about the future, or all three at once. That’s normal. What you don’t have to do is figure out the legal process alone.
At Donato Law, we work with people at every stage of divorce—from those just starting to consider it to those deep in contested proceedings. We understand that your case isn’t just about legal grounds and property division. It’s about your life, your children’s wellbeing, and your future.
Every divorce is different. The approach that works for your neighbor or your sister might not be right for you. That’s why we take time to listen to your specific situation, explain your options clearly, and help you develop a strategy that fits your circumstances and goals. Whether you’re pursuing an uncontested divorce or facing complex issues involving businesses, retirement accounts, or custody disputes, we’re here to protect your interests.
We focus on family law in Suffolk County, which means we know the local courts, the judges, and what approaches tend to work here. That local knowledge matters when you’re going through something this important.
Your next chapter is waiting—you just need someone to help you turn the page. Contact Donato Law today to schedule a free consultation. We’ll answer your questions, address your concerns, and give you honest guidance about the path ahead.
